Hi NomadHers!

Your fellow NomadHer SooMin reporting from Madeira. It’s my last week of the Digital Nomadher Challenge in Madeira which makes me a bit sad, it’s been extremely healing to be here. I’m going to miss being able to go to the beach whenever I want, working at the beach… I’m definitely more of a lizard than a polar bear when it comes to weather, so it’s been amazing being here.

10 days sure fly by real quick. I’ll be sure to be back another time in the future though!

Today I thought I would write to you NomadHers about living as a woman, travelling as a woman and seeing the world as a woman. We are after all, a community of women so I thought it would be a subject most of you would be able to empathise with.

I’ve always felt comfortable in the body I was born in, I’ve never questioned being assigned female at birth, but with time, through the different experiences, the ups and the downs, I’ve realised being a woman isn’t really a problem for me, but rather, a problem sometimes for others. You don’t ask to be treated a certain way, perceived in a particular lens, but it just keeps happening. It’s definitely draining, and some days are harder than others. But I really hope that with this post I could send a virtual letter to all of you lovely NomadHers, telling you there will always be a better day, and that there are so many other women out there that will understand your story and give you the pat on the back you deserve.

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I read a book recently called ‘Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982’ (82년생 김지영). Written by a fellow South Korean, it’s a famous feminist novel about the story of Jiyoung. It shows what it is like to be a South Korean woman today, with a kid and married. It also tells the tale of what it’s like simply to be assigned female at birth in modern South Korea. I had this book on my reading list for a long time, many of my friends had recommended the book to me but I had put it off as I had other things to read. Flying to Madeira, I read the book, feeling ready to delve into some heartfelt literature - and it was indeed heartfelt and heartbreaking.

My heart broke every time Jiyoung would have to check the public toilets for secret cameras filming women (몰래카메라), when she would overhear that her mother had sacrificed her possibility to go to university by supporting the family, earning money to send her brothers to university. When she was called names for being a ‘hindrance’ as a woman wanting to be in restaurants and cafés with her child. When she spoke of ‘having to’ give up her career to be a housewife, cleaning and taking care of her child. Every time her hard work as a housewife wouldn’t be deemed labour.

It reminded me how much more we need to do to achieve equal rights. After reading the book, I sat in the airplane thinking to myself what this means for me as a woman too. I’ve definitely experienced some similar things in South Korea, being a woman there is hard. But really, being a woman anywhere is. Intersectionality. I’m an immigrant woman in Europe, and will always be seen as one no matter how long I’ve lived there. I’m queer, so people will always have their own opinions about who I love and how I love them. I don’t want kids and I am heavily tattooed. These choices I’ve made about my body has labelled me as ‘that type of woman’.

Do I really care though? No. This is my life. I am South Korean, so I do understand the pitfalls of a heavily communitarian society. But I’m also an immigrant in Europe, so I do understand and have experienced the pitfalls of an overly individualistic one. What I’ve come to terms with is that you sort of have to find a balance between the two. It’s really hard to get to the point of “I am who I am, and this is how my existence is defined”, but I’ve found once you get there the mountains and hills you have to climb are worth it.

And finding women like you online, that tell me bravely that you’ve travelled in Tanzania alone, have done a backpacking trip in LATAM by yourself… All these stories tell me that ultimately, although society and others may try to pull us back, we have to stand strong and believe in what we need to make our own space in the world we live in. Maybe for some of us the cage that we’re trapped in is even ourselves, our own fears, our own traumas. It’s important to recognise this and try to take the next steps into recapturing what is our very own lives, our purpose.

Let’s keep sending each other the love and support that is sometime hard to find in the depths of oneself, take a small step, one step at a time to make the world a better place, a safer place to live in.

I believe in all of you NomadHers. Who knows, maybe the next step in your life to find your purpose is a solo trip. Or a girls’ trip! Pick a country you’ve always dreamt of, and just throw yourself into the experience. You never know what you may find out about yourself.

Pro tip: I’ve found seeing a therapist that is of a similar cultural background and a woman has helped a lot with understanding myself, loving myself and feeling confident. Do it if you find it may be worthwhile for you!

So much love and hugs,

Your fellow NomadHer sister, SooMin

#digitalnomadherchallenge

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