We recently had the honour to interview Tiphanya, the author of the blog Avenue Reine Mathilde. Tiphanya is a mom-traveller, is passionate about Marie Curie, and often travels with her eight-year-old daughter. We got her insights on solo female travelling and travelling as a mom.

Can you tell me a bit about yourself, when did you start travelling alone? Why? What is your current situation?

I started to travel after my high school hosted Australian students for a year. I thought that if they were capable of living abroad for a year, I could do the same for six weeks. One of them had lived with my family and I, so, after I graduated from high school, I went to Australia to visit her, and then went to Tasmania to visit another. Today I still travel, either alone, with my family or in duo with my eight-year-old daughter.

Among the countries you have visited, which one is your favourite?  

Australia, because of its impact, this is where I realised that I didn't want to pursue the education I had destined myself for, and where I dared to say to my parents that I wanted to stop. It led to a lot of changes. Also, Togo, where I went seven years later as a volunteer -I was a French as second language teacher.

Which country or travel experience really surprised you?

Alsace, even if this is in France, it made me realise the massive cultural differences within a country! I thought things would be the same as where I come from, but it is all the differences with my region of origin that really marked me: shops being closed on Sundays, or even closing as early as on Saturdays at 3pm, the bread names in bakeries, the vocabulary, the fact that a lot of people spoke Alsatian… We even received rude comments on my husband’s Parisian accent! As I wasn’t expecting it, the shock was even greater.

What does travelling alone bring you?

A real gain of confidence, I realise I am capable of doing things when I don’t have any choice anymore. It is easy in our daily life to postpone things to later, or to rely on others, especially when travelling with people, because you can hide behind them and let them take the lead. But in doing so, you don’t put yourself in danger! When you are alone, face to face with yourself, if you really want to do something you have to go past the fear you can have. Every time I come back home, I realise how much I am capable to do things by myself. It is a real confidence boost.

Has travelling changed your perception of yourself? How?

Yes and no. This idea of self-confidence I feel like I need to travel to maintain it. If I leave too much time between two trips, sometimes I find myself saying that I don’t travel that much. I kind of forget. It is the confinement in the daily life that does that, the everyday organisation and structure that anaesthetize me a bit.

To travel is like a reminder shot, a wake-up call that one is completely in control of one’s daily life. I empower myself.

Do you have an experience or person you met who changed your way of perceiving yourself, or the others, or even the fact of travelling alone?

When I returned from internship in Canada, I had a big realization. I had arrived at the Paris airport, and, wanting to get out, found myself surrounded by passengers from an African flight -so the majority of them were black. I was queueing with them, but one security agent came up to me and told me I could get out of the queue and get out immediately. I was barely 20, and was impressionable, so I didn’t dare to say anything and passed everyone in line to get out. Until that point, I had always thought that to travel as a woman was easier, because some checkpoints are faster for us, people are less suspicious, our bags are not searched etc. But for the first time, I realised that more complex issues are at stake, such as racism, that one doesn’t perceive if one is a white female. This is when I realised that, because I am a white French woman, I probably have more privileges than others, with all the implications this has. It put me to my place, reminded me of what I am and of what I could never pretend I am not. Especially now, because I am a white woman, AND I have a child with me when I travel.

What would you say to people who say that traveling alone as a woman is dangerous?

I have a very negative view of things: the reason for which we think that travelling alone as a woman is dangerous, is what makes being a woman something dangerous in our society. The danger is the same when you go out clubbing in Paris or when you are walking alone on the other side of the globe. Being a woman is an issue. We are in no more danger elsewhere because we are in danger everywhere!  Just look at the reality of violence against women, anywhere could be worse, but it also could be better.

How could we change this idea that women shouldn't travel alone, and should go with someone?

I find that the people who have this idea are mostly women, not men. I think it's really a groundwork that women have to do on themselves, on these beliefs holding them back. You must dare to do it, even if it means leaving with girlfriends, since the danger is there anyway because you are a woman, not because you are alone. So why not start travelling together, and then gradually start traveling alone? Men, at least in my circle, have never remarked to me about the fact that I travel alone, whereas the women do. Internalized messages maybe?

What is your worst experience? How did you handle it? Did it have an impact on you, your behaviour or your life?

I never had anything really serious. The only thing coming back is this ankle I sprained while in Togo. I had had feedback on the local hospitals in the country, and on the overall health system, and I really didn’t want to get to know the treatment conditions. One of the Togolese observed my ankle, which was swelled, and proceeded to massage it, with only moisturising cream. And the swelling disappeared! Then the entire village took care of me, everyone was helping me, the community spirit was incredible. However, I didn’t expect their reactions to my healing: having a very white skin, my ankle turned purple, blue and yellow, as it does when there is a bruise, and they thought it was gangrening! With their black skin, they had never seen a bruise heal that way! Some times later an osteopath told me I had been really lucky to get this kind of treatment, because there was no sign anywhere that something had happened!

What advice and tips would you give women who hesitate to travel alone?

To not hesitate to do it in a secure frame. When I left as a volunteer, it was in this secure frame. It allows us to have trained interlocutors, professionals in case of. Same thing for my trip to Australia, I had contacts there. Before departing for Cambodia for example I had talked to a Belgium woman expatriated there and had her number. Even the embassy number is enough, it allows us to hold on to something, to know that there are people that could help us -unlike the family who stayed at home and can’t do anything remotely.

Your best experience while travelling?

I love to eat! Eating in Japan is amazing. I have this specific memory of being invited at a very good restaurant, and of marvelling at the refinement of the dishes and their beauty. I always thought the aesthetic side was exaggerated in movies or books, but it actually is not.

What has becoming a mother and travelling with a child change for you?

In reality, travelling with my daughter hasn’t changed anything, since I “slow travel” anyway. With a child, one has a lot more interactions with locals, one meets more people. They come more to one, they soften up, and the child, who has a lot less inhibitions, goes easily to them, so one just has to follow! In Sicily, my daughter had no problem whatsoever coming up to people and talking to them. People are always ready to help and are even sometimes disappointed to no get any more time with the child! For example, in Croatia, the waitress really wanted to babysit and hold my daughter while I was going to the bathroom. Of course, it all disappears when your child grows up…

How did your first trip with your daughter go?

I spent a week in Sicily with my daughter- who was then two years old. Generally speaking, I think travelling alone goes well, the hardest thing is not to be a solo mom, it is to be a mom period. The difficulties are the same wherever one goes: is my child hungry? thirsty? sleepy? The change of frame is nice, because it allows to change up from the daily life, to be more relaxed.

To you, what are the pros and cons of travelling for a kid?

Of course, travelling can be disturbing to them because they have less landmarks. But landmarks are not necessarily four-bedroom walls and a bed, you can create them! We travelled continuously for a year and a half, the landmark I had created for her was the little felt horses I had bought in Kyrgyzstan and that I hung above her bed. So whenever we were, in the fifth or fifteenth accommodation, her bed was where the little horses were. Landmarks are especially the parents. Travelling, for children, is also all the hugs, all the time we spend with them, the books we read them, it is also this who feeds their souls. I think it is an investment for the future, travelling allows them to discover new things, new tastes, or new languages. It helps build them as people. Travel shapes youth!

What advice would you give to a mother who hesitates to travel solo with her kid?

When we are together, my daughter and I, we are a team, so we plan everything together. One must explain to the child what is going on, what is going to happen. It avoids surprises and bad reactions. When it is only us two, I need her to listen to me, for example for safety reasons, so I need to listen to her as well. For example, when she was younger, she had to hold my trousers’ pocket while I took pictures. Find some tricks like this. And honestly, if solo moms are able to do this in their daily life, they are more than capable to do the same when travelling!

Do you have a message to women who will read you?

You don’t need to go far to have a real trip. It’s not because you haven’t been sitting for 20 hours in a plane that is it not a trip! You can have real culture shock within the same country, discover new things such as dishes for example. The goal is to enjoy it, it is as rewarding!